Personal Portrait

Getting There….

April 27, 2016

Maybe it was noticeable. Maybe it wasn’t. But the truth is that there was a really dark cloud over my head for quite some time.

Sometimes, I don’t even think I noticed it there trailing me, and I didn’t really bother to try and find some sunshine. After all, shade can be nice.

I’m not even quite sure when it started forming. Eventually it got so big, I couldn’t help but notice. But it was too late. It had already started raining on some important things in my life. Things got soaked, and some things I had to just let go of, even though I loved them very dearly.

Without giving too many details, let’s just say…life didn’t go quite as I planned.

The rain didn’t stop for quite some time, but slowly, I could deal with it. My mom gave me an umbrella. My sister gave me a raincoat. My friends gave me galoshes. I didn’t want any of it. I wanted my old stuff back. But I couldn’t refuse their kindness.

Still, the waters kept rising.

Eventually, a little rowboat floated by in the floodwaters and kept knocking into my legs. It was nice enough, but I didn’t really care to get in and had no strength to row and would probably suck at it anyway. But my galoshes were only so high, and I finally decided it might be nice to just try sitting in the boat.

Soon, I picked up one paddle. Then the other. The cloud was still overhead, but at least I was seeing some new things. I was even impressed with my newfound rowing skills.

So here I am…still rowing–to where, I’m not quite sure. It has stopped raining most of the time, and more often than before, I can see a break in the clouds.

I still look back sometimes and really miss the things I had to leave behind. But then I notice how I’m not soaked anymore and how far I’ve traveled from when the rain started pouring down. Then I look up and can see a little more sunshine peeking through.

I can’t turn back time, but I can move forward to a better place — even if it’s slowly. And I think I’m getting there.



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